spurt NUTS

under a golden wych elm tree

                                                                                 puffed out like pigeons’ sleeping

breasts

                              or parachute I would sit

propped

against the trunk and let certain bugs

grow accustomed to me                    climb all over me

centipedes I’d shove down my pants

went                           to

                                                                      hospital – beetle in the ear

                and feeling

                ants were

                          feelings I’d never felt                                    except

when

I was hurting myself –

then in a rage I’d thrash

                                       my legs tear leaves dig the soil down to wet and worms and

whether

                          I knew it or not (I didn’t know it)

                                         rub soil on my

                  face                                            eat soil –

ask  

go

it’s right to and I say

no                                                                                                   I wasn’t NUTS          only

                          in spurts

a dick’s a dick but isn’t always orgasming

                                              pain’s

pain                                                                         but no-one always

            hurts

                                       and some people use pain to not hurt                             me

I use bark aloneness bugs                                                     dirt

                                                        take weird stock                          beneath that tree

of mum and my sisters

                                         fare-welling me

                                                                                                                but cry

                            under parachutes I

spurt NUTS

sometimes                                         to       stick      around