Tuesday 27 November 2012

description of a bedroom setting, description of a sideboard


Our bedroom set was the second least expensive in Ikea’s least expensive range, costing $289.99 on sale, and was called the ANDERS package. The set consisted of a four-post bed – some reasonably nice lathwork had been done on the posts – and two bedside tables, all made in Romania from Russian pine, possibly old growth Russian pine if recent headlines were anything to go by, as well as a ‘medium-firm’ mattress which was made in China from Indian latex and cotton. The bed was higher off the ground and more stately than I would have liked, quasi-stately, and its slats were made of a paler, flimsier wood, almost as flimsy as balsa. We’d also bought a pair of Swedish-made ELSA lamps on the same day at $14 each. Sarah kept some plastic bags – made in China from linear polyethylene granules – with department store logos under the bed with out-of-season shoes in them and our king size doona draped right onto the carpeted floor on both sides. The carpet pile was school classroom short, and grey. The doona was red wine coloured and had black Asian lettering on it. The table draws slid in and out on white plastic rollers that rolled like buckled bicycle wheels. After using my table for three weeks I decided that it was too small to accommodate all the things I liked to have near me as I slept, and too cheaply finished to have to use or even look at, and so I had put it in the spare bedroom – it was still the only thing in the spare bedroom – and taken the sideboard from the rumpus room and placed it lengthways along the edge of the bed. Being long and tall for a sideboard it meant that I had to get out at the foot of the bed every morning and that it hurt if I rolled too far over in the night. Sarah had neither supported the change nor opposed it.

There was a towel between her legs now, slowly receiving the come I’d just left in her, and I was brushing her hair. She had found this weird at the beginning of our relationship, a bit “faggy”, that I liked to brush her hair, so shockingly thick and black and angular, and to have her lie between my open legs as I did so. But over time – more than three years – she’d grown used to it and had, I thought, begun to enjoy it, even if it was simply the noble enjoyment of giving me pleasure. Because resolving all the tangles until I could bury my spread fingers to her scalp and slide them effortlessly from root to tip gave me a huge amount of pleasure. There was a practical reason why free-spirited people often had long hair; tending to it was pleasurable, meditative. I was holding the back of her right arm at the tricep; my thumb traced the contraceptive implant in a kind of exultant caress. Swimming had broadened her shoulders and made her back muscles bigger, more shadowy. Her waist was small, her hips hard and wide. I looked down and could see the beginnings of her arse crack, the allure of which had left me in tears the first time I saw it. It was still only three in the afternoon.
“Steve’s going to show tomorrow morning, isn’t he?” She asked.
I hummed in assent.
“But how can you know for sure if you don’t call him?”
“Babe, do you have to call your boss every morning to make sure work’s on?”
“No,” she replied, flinching as I brushed out a tangle too aggressively, “but that’s a silly comparison. My work doesn’t just randomly not happen
“Neither does mine. He’ll show”
“Okay,” she said, “but don’t blame me if you end up going on another walk”.

By the time I had finished with her hair, Sarah had slid her underpants back on, and declined my request that she accompany me to dinner with Lucinda the following night. Her reasons for declining had to do with a Tupperware party, a baby shower, and the fact that she knew I wouldn’t have gone either given the chance. Sensing that I was upset, she turned around to face me, kneeling so that her knees just graced my knob. We kissed twice. I cupped her stomach and teased her bellybutton ring. Her hair was like the silhouette of a flame.
She spoke in sensual, suggestive tones. “Why don’t we go out for dinner tonight, just you and me? We could go to the Thai place in Greensborough, get a tonne of roti bread and peanut sauce, those crazy chilli cocktails…”
I agreed and made the earliest booking possible, five-thirty. That left two unfilled hours; Sarah made baby clothes while I slept.

Infernally heavy, the sideboard was walnut and two-toned: the frame and the hollow rectangular legs were beige, as were the four draws in the middle of the unit, while the cupboards on either side and all the handles were dark brown. It was, I’d always thought, a beautiful object in the sense that it was clean. It was also the only piece of furniture I’d inherited from my parents. Our neighbour from over the road, a cabinetmaker called Neil Kenneth Jefferies, had built it for them cheap when I was in prep. We lived on Lower Plenty then and I could still remember Jefferies and my dad heaving it through the press of traffic, putting it down at both median strips to sit on, exhausted and maybe a little strung out from playing all that chicken. My sisters and I were gathered on the footpath with our pyjamas on as if it was the only thing happening in the world at that moment, mum standing behind us like a duck with her brood. I could still remember how big and hairy our neighbour’s forearms looked, dropped down between his legs and then akimbo because he was out of breath, forming bunches the size of garlic bulbs at his bent elbows. Also how neat his bald head looked in the sunlight.
Cars beeped at them. If a car beeped at something other than a sexy young woman or another car then it was probably a bloke wearing a costume of some sort, or his birthday suit, or just a plain-clothed bloke who was spastically drunk, or else a bloke – or two – carrying something unusual.
Once safely across, the sideboard was threaded through our front door without incident and placed against the wall in the hallway underneath an ugly Kandinsky print. I never understood how people could like or even tolerate Kandinsky. Then some records were put atop it, and a record player that I never saw being used. But for the profuseness of their thanks at the time, and the affectations of gratitude on their faces, and the fact that it had been built to their own specifications, my parents were never happy with the sideboard. They seemed to declare their mutual antipathy towards it at every opportunity; maybe it made them want to fuck each other more.
“It’s just too antique,” one would say.
“And the sharpness of those corners – was he out to blind the kids?”
Once Neil Kenneth Jefferies had left the neighbourhood the sideboard was relocated to the garage, where it sat beneath a big blue tarpaulin until I’d picked it up and brought it to Watsonia, less than a month ago. That equalled twenty years of concealment. Interestingly, I was to see and hear the innocuous name of our former neighbour much later, after my parents had died, during his much-publicised trial for child molestation, in which my sister Sinead gave testimony, and subsequent twenty year sentence. In no way did this affect my fondness for the sideboard, which my parents had replaced all those years ago with a pine-finished Laminex one from Ikea.


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