Saturday 8 December 2012

The Girl in Gildandra


We’ve arrived at Mount Carbine and don’t want to drive any further. We’ve been driving for four days. Dharman says that if we were to take the Peninsula Development all the way to Cooktown, to the very top of the cape, which we’re not, there would be another three solid days of road left to roll our twenty-four inch tires along. Solid days of dirt road, that is – the road here is still bitumen. Mirages look better on bitumen, I think. More lucid, wetter, if it makes any sense to describe a mirage in those terms. Like iridescent parachute pants moonwalking away, on the polished floor of a room that’s narrow and empty and endless.

We won’t drive far enough North to hit the dirt and that’s all right. That’s more than all right.  Anyway, for now we aren’t in a hurry to drive anywhere, or do anything except sit and drink beer, which I’m not enjoying much either. It’s almost forty degrees. There’s water left in some of the creeks running under the road, and the vegetation around the dry creeks is green and abundant enough to suggest that there was water in those ones too, not so long ago. There are two dead kangaroos in my field of vision, little mucked up ones with burnished eyes, on the road at either side of this township, Mount Carbine as I’ve already said, which is really just a couple of houses, circumscribed by wooden verandahs, built around the pub I’m currently sitting at, the whole lot situated at a pretty remarkable point in the biosphere at which the Daintree gives over to the red termite-ridden barrenness of the inland cattle stations. People miss those transitional points in the Australian landscape, the ones that for four days have stirred me like the beating of some gargantuan drums or something, quite simply because they are few and far between and there is subsequently fuck all reason to be anywhere near them. I also see a place called Mount Carbine Preserves that sells jars and paraffin wax, but it looks closed.

An illusion: the craggy green mountains of the rainforest have clung to the foreground of the horizon. They seem far closer to us than the GPS says they are. But the tropical air – cloyed with sugarcane and banana and mango and the sea – we breathed in so giddily yesterday is long gone. What has replaced it is dry and hard to describe and equally hard to inhale. Across from where I’m sitting – on the verandah of the pub – there is a wooden fence painted green and then the road and then a fucking enormous tract of copper desert and then the mountains, the loveliest I think I’ve ever laid eyes on, even lovelier than the Rockies or the Andes that make brushy ant hills of them, and to my right I can see the excavated ridge, like the lip of a fancy salad bowl, of one of Queensland’s biggest open-cut coal mines.

The XXXX beer beside this notebook is probably warm by now. The boys have gone inside where they serve counter meals and have a lot of seventies-style ceiling fans going. But I hate the feeling of fanned hot air more than I hate the hot air itself and so I have stayed out here. I’m not hungry. The total absence of wind out here is almost disconcerting, but isn’t. Trash spills from a wheelie bin resting against the lamppost our Landcruiser is parked next to. What I know as stink bugs teem like a greenish shadow around the trash. Then Dean blusters through the green plastic ribbons in the doorway of the pub and looks at me. Then he looks at my notebook. Then he blusters back through the ribbons; I think some were hanging onto him the whole time. I think he was coming to ask what I was doing. He looked drunk, which I’m happy about because I like it when the boys get drunk, especially Dean. It’s somewhere between three and five o’clock in the afternoon. I notice that the sliding door, also painted green, has come off its thread and is basically leaning against the weatherboard side of the pub like rubbish awaiting the arrival of a skip; does the pub ever close?

Instead of writing something summative, a diary entry or epic narrative poem that catches everything up and then some, which was what I’d originally planned to do, I’m going to use this stopover to tell the story of a single incident that has happened to us on the road and that strikes me in this first moment of proper contemplation as being special. Maybe it’s cowardly occlusion to say so, or fatigue, or self-sabotage, but I reckon that this will be the only writing do until I get back to Melbourne. I’ve never set down anything like that before. I’ve also never kept a travelogue and finally understand why: writing about experiences in detail inevitably eats into the time allotted to experiencing. Now the publican is on the veranda and I’m looking at her deferentially, as if she were a kind of outback goddess. Her hair is dyed blonde, she has on faded blue jeans and high heels, and is either an old-looking forty or a youthful fifty. She asks me how I am. Good, I tell her. She asks me if I’m finished with my beer. Yes, I tell her. When she asks me if I’d like another beer, I tell her no. As she is walking towards the ribbons and I’m vaguely and unfeelingly attentive to the way her arse moves, the thought of those hundred millilitres of flat beer drizzling down the drain suddenly becomes very clear and very affecting; the feeling it arouses is closer to disgust than fear, but not much closer. My skin catches the sunshine and I shiver. Then the green ribbons go still and I shake my head, mime something I instantly forget, and turn back to my notebook. 


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